I love my family. I have friends, I have people who support me, and I know I'm incredibly lucky to have them. But sometimes I just need someone who actually gets what I'm doing with my business. Someone I can bounce ideas off of, talk through a problem with, or celebrate something that might seem completely insignificant to anyone who doesn't own a business. And I've realized through conversations with other women that I'm definitely not the only one feeling this way. I was talking to a woman recently who had spent countless hours working on a project she was incredibly proud of. When she finally showed her husband, his response was basically, "Oh, that's good." And that was it. She wasn't looking for a parade, but she wanted someone to understand how much work had gone into it and be just as excited as she was. I've been there. I recently spent what felt like forever figuring out how to get a form on my website to work correctly, send someone to the right page, and then automatically send a follow-up email. When I finally got the whole damn thing working, I was ridiculously excited. My husband tested it for me, told me good job, and went about his day. Which was lovely, but I wanted someone who understood the 47 steps it took to get there and would celebrate with me. Someone who wouldn't need the entire backstory to understand why getting a stupid little button to work felt like such a big accomplishment. That's the kind of connection I'm talking about, and I think a lot of women running businesses are missing it.
One of the things I've noticed is that entrepreneurship can be incredibly lonely, especially when you're working for yourself. When you work at a company, you have coworkers. You have people to brainstorm with, complain to, ask questions, and celebrate with. You have the random conversations over lunch, the office gossip, the birthday celebrations, and the occasional happy hour. When you run your own business, especially as a solopreneur, a lot of that disappears. I talked to another woman who had been running her business for several years and was seriously considering going back to work for someone else because she missed having coworkers. She spent most of her days sitting alone at her desk, and by the time her husband came home, she was both completely burnt out and desperate for human interaction. And I get it. Even if you have employees or contractors, it's not necessarily the same. You're still the person responsible for everything, and sometimes you need someone you can talk to without feeling like you have to have all the answers. Then you add in motherhood, relationships, aging parents, hormones, and everything else happening in midlife, and it's a whole lot to carry. We can have friends and family who love us and still feel lonely because the people around us don't necessarily understand what we're going through. My mom friends are wonderful, but sometimes when I start talking about my businesses, they look at me like I have six heads. My kids are happy for me when something goes well, but they're also kids, so they're usually more concerned about what's for dinner. And that's okay. I don't need every person in my life to understand every part of it. But I would really love to have some people who do.
And yes, I know what people are going to suggest. Go to a networking event. Join a business group. Find a coworking space. I've done plenty of networking, and while I've met some wonderful women, I've also sat through more than my fair share of lunches where everyone gives their 60-second commercial, tries to collect referrals, and then goes home. That's not the connection I'm looking for. I don't want every conversation to feel like a sales opportunity. I remember struggling with an email sequence and asking for help in a business group that literally had a space for members to ask questions. Instead of someone helping me figure out what was going wrong, the responses were either people telling me they'd had the same problem or offering to let me hire them to fix it. And listen, I'm all for women making money and growing their businesses. But sometimes can we just help a girl out? Sometimes I want to ask a question without getting a sales pitch in return. And sometimes I want a place where I can admit that I'm overwhelmed, frustrated, or having a really shitty day without feeling like I'm damaging my professional image. I see so many business communities where everyone is constantly posting their wins and making everything look wonderful, even when I know some of those same women are struggling behind the scenes. I want somewhere we can be honest about both. Where we can celebrate signing a huge client, finally figuring out a website button, or simply making it through a difficult week. And where we can also say, "I'm having a hard time right now," without someone immediately trying to sell us the solution.
That's a huge part of why I'm building Midlife Mompreneurs. I want us to have the kind of community where we can talk about our businesses, our kids, our lives, and everything in between without having to explain ourselves every five minutes. I want women who understand why getting that first client is exciting, why launching something new is terrifying, and why sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you're doing a damn good job. I want us to be able to ask questions, share ideas, celebrate each other's accomplishments, and help each other when we can. And I want some of that connection to happen in real life, too. Lunches, meetups, weekends together, or even just being able to say, "Hey, I'm going to be in Chicago. Anyone want to grab lunch?" Because while online communities are wonderful, sometimes you need another living, breathing human sitting across the table from you. I'm not pretending that Midlife Mompreneurs will be everything to everyone, and I'm certainly not claiming to have figured it all out. I'm building it because it's something I've been looking for myself, and the more women I talk to, the more I realize we're all searching for some version of the same thing. Our kids are growing up, our businesses are changing, and we're figuring out what this next part of life looks like. We shouldn't have to do all of that feeling alone. So yes, I love my family, and I know you probably love yours, too. But sometimes we need people outside of our families who understand this part of our lives. And if you're reading this thinking, Holy shit, I've been looking for that too, then I think we're going to get along just fine.
Prefer to listen instead? ☟
This article was inspired by Episode 3 of the Midlife Mompreneurs Podcast, "I Love My Family but... I Need People Who Get This." Listen to the full episode for more of my thoughts on the loneliness of entrepreneurship, why having supportive family and friends doesn't always mean feeling understood, and why I'm so damn tired of networking groups where every conversation turns into a sales pitch.
[Listen to/watch the episode →Spotify ✦ Apple ✦ YouTube]
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And if any of this sounds familiar, come find me on Instagram and tell me about it. I'd love to hear whether you've ever felt lonely running your business, even when you have people cheering you on. You can also sign up for the Midlife Mompreneurs newsletter to hear about upcoming podcast episodes, meetups, the conference, and everything else we're building.
